We all know that spending even 5-10 minutes of dedicated one-on-one time with our kids, letting them lead the play (sometimes called "special time"), can be so powerful for helping them to feel seen, heard, valued, and loved. Then why is it sometimes so difficult for us to achieve? Perhaps you tend to keep very … Continue reading What to do when “special time” is hard!
When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you …
I’ve posted before about how when our nervous system is in a "protective" state (Fight/Flight/Freeze), it tends to be “self-reinforcing”. That is, when our nervous system is already sensing threat, we have a tendency to perceive more things "going wrong", in our environment, in our relationships and internally in our bodies. This makes sense! If … Continue reading When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you …
Tuning in to “goodness” supports our felt sense of safety
Glimmers are the little things that "feel good" in our nervous system, the little bits of pleasure in our day. They are what help us to come back into a felt sense of safety, to our ventral vagal state of “Calm and Connected”. The sensation of sun on our body, our bare feet on the … Continue reading Tuning in to “goodness” supports our felt sense of safety
It’s the little things …
Most of us have had times when we've been more snappy or distracted with our kids than we would have liked, and we're wanting to help them to feel comfortable and connected with us again. A simple way to start the repair process is to notice the micro-moments of goodness in our day. It might … Continue reading It’s the little things …
Rewire Through Regulation and Repair is here!
So, yeah, I'm pretty excited that this is happening! You can find all the information by clicking on the image below: I've been wanting to create something like this for last year or so, since I started getting into polyvagal theory, self-reg, etc. It really feels like the "missing piece", for so many parents. And … Continue reading Rewire Through Regulation and Repair is here!
It’s not (just) what we say, it’s how we say it (which is all about the nervous system)
I first came across Non-Violent Communication (NVC) in Marshall Rosenberg’s book that my then partner had picked up at the book shop. We were needing some support with our communication, and this one jumped out at him for some reason. Needless to say, it was too late for us. I kept the book when we … Continue reading It’s not (just) what we say, it’s how we say it (which is all about the nervous system)
Are you feeling ambivalent about your increase in freedom?
I notice myself feeling ambivalent today. Here in New Zealand, we’re moving back into alert-level 2, and life is starting to resemble pre Covid-19 again. Restrictions are gradually being dropped. There are opportunities now to see a small number of friends, to go out and do things that were normal before, like going to the … Continue reading Are you feeling ambivalent about your increase in freedom?
A graphic to illustrate autonomic nervous system functioning
For anyone who'd like to understand a bit more about their autonomic nervous system and stress responses, I created this little graphic. Our nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for signs of safety and danger, with the aim of setting responses in motion to keep us safe (alive!). 🥰 When we are sensing safety, we … Continue reading A graphic to illustrate autonomic nervous system functioning
New program coming soon: Rewire through Regulation and Repair
For some of us, the balance between the part of the brain that is responsible for considered behaviour (prefrontal cortex) and the emotional centre of our brain (amygdala) can be a bit "off", making us more likely to be hijacked by our autonomic nervous system going into "fight or flight". This can make parenting extra … Continue reading New program coming soon: Rewire through Regulation and Repair
Compassionate nervous system support for mums!
I remember, as a sleep-deprived single mother of a poorly sleeping baby, being told by a professional: “If only you weren’t so anxious, your baby would be sleeping better”. In a way, she was right. But at the time, those words were like a slap in the face. Having trained in clinical psychology, I knew … Continue reading Compassionate nervous system support for mums!
Here With You Parenting 