What to do when “special time” is hard!

We all know that spending even 5-10 minutes of dedicated one-on-one time with our kids, letting them lead the play (sometimes called "special time"), can be so cup-filling for them, helping them to feel seen, heard, valued, and loved. Then why is it sometimes so difficult for us to achieve? Perhaps you tend to keep … Continue reading What to do when “special time” is hard!

When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you …

I’ve posted before about how when our nervous system is in a "protective" state (Fight/Flight/Freeze), it tends to be “self-reinforcing”. That is, when our nervous system is already sensing threat, we have a tendency to perceive more things "going wrong", in our environment, in our relationships and internally in our bodies. This makes sense! If … Continue reading When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you …

It’s not (just) what we say, it’s how we say it (which is all about the nervous system)

I first came across Non-Violent Communication (NVC) in Marshall Rosenberg’s book that my then partner had picked up at the book shop. We were needing some support with our communication, and this one jumped out at him for some reason. Needless to say, it was too late for us. I kept the book when we … Continue reading It’s not (just) what we say, it’s how we say it (which is all about the nervous system)

Are you feeling ambivalent about your increase in freedom?

I notice myself feeling ambivalent today. Here in New Zealand, we’re moving back into alert-level 2, and life is starting to resemble pre Covid-19 again. Restrictions are gradually being dropped. There are opportunities now to see a small number of friends, to go out and do things that were normal before, like going to the … Continue reading Are you feeling ambivalent about your increase in freedom?

A graphic to illustrate autonomic nervous system functioning

For anyone who'd like to understand a bit more about their autonomic nervous system and stress responses, I created this little koru graphic. Our nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for signs of safety and danger, with the aim of setting responses in motion to keep us safe (alive!). 🙂 When we are sensing safety, … Continue reading A graphic to illustrate autonomic nervous system functioning

New program coming soon: Rewire through Regulation and Repair

For some of us, the balance between the part of the brain that is responsible for considered behaviour (prefrontal cortex) and the emotional centre of our brain (amygdala) can be a bit "off", making us more likely to be hijacked by our autonomic nervous system going into "fight or flight". This can make parenting extra … Continue reading New program coming soon: Rewire through Regulation and Repair