Most of us have had times when we’ve been more snappy or distracted with our kids than we would have liked, and we’re wanting to help them to feel comfortable and connected with us again.
A simple way to start the repair process is to notice the micro-moments of goodness in our day. It might be the warmth of the sun on our skin, a cup of tea, or a hot shower. To really let the enjoyment of these things sink in, and notice the effect they have on our body.
And then when we are feeling really calm and connected within ourselves, when we can feel that body sense of safety in our nervous system, we can focus on transmitting that to our child(ren) through extra micro-moments of connection with them.
💖 It might be remembering to pause and offer them some relaxed eye contact and a warm smile.
💖 It could be showing interest in what they are doing, or perhaps even stopping to join for them a while.
💖 It might be coming in close and putting an arm around them, or offering our open arms and inviting them in for a hug.
💖 Or any other little way of connecting with and delighting in them that naturally flows when you are in this state.
All of these things can fill our kids’ “love-cups”, helping them to feel seen, heard, valued, and “safe” from a nervous system perspective.
Having us interact with them when we are feeling calm and connected can help them to feel calm and connected in their bodies too.
And it can feel really good to us parents as well!
We can savour these bonding moments with our children, and this can boost our “feel-good” hormone (oxytocin), reinforcing our own safe state.
You might be surprised at what a powerful effect these little moments throughout the day can have on both us and our kids!
Angela and I are just a few days away from launching our program, Rewire through Regulation and Repair, where we will be diving into all of this much more deeply. We’ll be exploring ways to experience and embody a sense of safety in our nervous systems, which can be challenging at first.
If you’re interested in learning more, all the details are here: http://rewireforparenting.com