For some of us, the balance between the part of the brain that is responsible for considered behaviour (prefrontal cortex) and the emotional centre of our brain (amygdala) can be a bit “off”, making us more likely to be hijacked by our autonomic nervous system going into “fight or flight”.
This can make parenting extra tricky. We might know what we want to be doing and saying, but it all regularly goes out the window. We might find ourselves overcome with rage, and losing it with our kids. Or we might feel chronically stressed, frustrated, anxious, irritable, or not really present.
It’s not our fault. It can happen when we haven’t had sufficient experiences of co-regulation (interactions with a calm and connected care giver) as a child. Or perhaps we’ve experienced a period of chronic stress, or a one-off traumatic experience, in our lives.
It doesn’t need to be a “life sentence”. We can get to know our unique nervous system, and learn ways to regulate it, so that we spend more time feeling calm and connected. We’ll be less likely to fly off the handle, and when we do, we’ll be better equipped to recover ourselves, and repair with our child.
I believe that being able to regulate our own nervous system is the single most effective “parenting strategy” there is, helping everything to flow more easily, with more joy and connection, as well as offering a powerful resource to help calm our children when they are feeling unsettled or unhappy.
These are the sorts of things that Angela Hill of Kinnect and I are going to be guiding you through in our new program, “Rewire through Regulation and Repair”. And we’ll be offering this first round at a bargain price.
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your name and email address if you’d like me to add you to the interest list and send you details of the program as they emerge in the coming weeks.
Image designed by Harryarts / Freepik.