You might have heard that kids “co-regulate” off the adults in their lives. But what does it mean? And why is it so important? Our children’s nervous system is wired to automatically pick up on the body language, tone of voice, and facial expression, that accompany our autonomic states, and to detect whether the environment … Continue reading What is co-regulation?
Have you noticed that, if we are in a state of Fight or Flight, rushing around feeling, looking and sounding stressed, then our children often start feeling and acting agitated too? And if, in our activated state, we glare at them or speak in a harsher voice to them, they may go into Fight or … Continue reading Our autonomic states are “contagious”
I find it fascinating learning more about the autonomic nervous system and how the state of it is unconsciously expressed through our face, body and voice. Did you know that, according to Stephen Porge’s Polyvagal theory, the human autonomic (automatic) nervous system has 3 branches that have evolved over time in animals: ➡️ Ventral (Front) Vagal … Continue reading Polyvagal theory and the autonomic states: Safe & Social, Fight or Flight, Shut Down
“You all look so happy” commented a friend underneath this photo I had posted on Facebook. I wanted to tell her that it hadn’t been that way just a few short minutes earlier. My son hadn’t wanted to stop at the waterfall and walk the short distance to view it. When we got out of … Continue reading Using play to dissolve irritability and tension
These days, a lot of children’s lives, both in school and in outside of school activities, is very structured. Periods of unstructured time are really important for kids, giving them the freedom to do what they want. But sometimes, it is not that easy. Sometimes, “boredom” takes hold. 👉 When left to their own devices, kids … Continue reading “Boredom” and how to give kids the fuel they need to make their own fun
Do you sometimes find it hard in your family to fulfil everyone’s desires? To negotiate a way for each family member to get what they want? Perhaps you'd really like to do something together as a family, but another family member has some resistance to doing the thing you'd like to do, and doesn’t feel … Continue reading Making space for resistance in order to meet everyone’s needs
Sometimes, when my son’s behaviour is going off track, I find it helpful to remind myself that he isn’t intentionally giving me a hard time - he’s having a hard time himself. I particularly need this reminder when I’m feeling low on resources (e.g. I’m tired, sick, stressed, or just needing a break), and when … Continue reading My child isn’t giving me a hard time. My child is having a hard time.
Sometimes it might seem like kids love being tickled ... but do they really? Did you know that the laughter triggered by tickling is different to other types of laughter? It’s actually part of an involuntary, automatic response. In fact, studies show that tickling activates the part of the brain that anticipates pain, and triggers … Continue reading Rethinking tickling
Do you sometimes feel unseen and unappreciated, for all the things - big and small - that you do for your children? Well, I think sometimes we need to give ourselves the acknowledgement and appreciation that we are wanting! We need to BE OUR OWN FAN CLUB!! And PLAYFUL EXAGGERATION can really come in handy … Continue reading Feeling unappreciated? How playful exaggeration can help!
Has your child ever said, “I’m not listening to you!”? Maybe complete with hands over their ears, humming or singing to themselves, and turning away from you? It can be quite challenging for us parents to hear! Our feelings might range from mildly frustrated to completely infuriated. It can trigger a sense of powerlessness in … Continue reading Playfulness to repair when your child says, “I’m not listening to you!”
Here With You Parenting 