Driving home from the supermarket today, I noticed myself being a bit snappy with my son. It took me a second to realise that the shopping trip had left me a bit rattled. I noticed my breathing was shallow, my heart was beating faster, and I felt a bit tense around my shoulders. I’d gone … Continue reading Are coronavirus fears leaking out in your parenting?
Does your child sometimes make noise that drives you crazy? Perhaps it’s singing the same song over and over … maybe the latest ear worm (Baby Shark anyone?) Repeating a favourite meme, or scene from a movie? Blowing a toy trumpet, or just making random noise! I’ve got to admit that I sometimes find these … Continue reading What to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed by kids’ noise!
I wonder if your child sucks their thumb, bites their nails, picks their skin or does some other repetitive behaviour? These are behaviours that kids (and adults) sometimes (unconsciously) use to manage the level of sympathetic activation or stress in their bodies when it gets too much. You might notice that at the … Continue reading How can we help when kids suck their thumb or have other self-focused repetitive behaviours?
Has your child ever had a puzzling behaviour that just won’t go away? A behaviour that keeps sticking around, no matter what strategies you try? One they keep repeating over and over, making you increasingly uncomfortable or perplexed? I call these “sticky” behaviours. Sometimes they can be an indication that something inside of US needs … Continue reading Sometimes our kids’ “sticky” behaviours reflect something within us that needs to shift
We are preparing for an(other) international move. There's a lot to do, with planning, preparations, etc. It’s taking up a lot of my time, energy and head space, and it's been a bit stressful at times. My boy’s been a bit “high” himself at times in the last few days. Acting generally hyped up, repeating … Continue reading We’re on the move!
This, of course, can bring up a lot of questions!! 🤷♀️ What is this elusive “self-regulation”? 🤷♀️ What does it really look and feel like? 🤷♀️ How do I get me some of that? This is a topic that I am feeling excited to explore with you at the moment. I’ve been supporting parents for a number of … Continue reading Self-regulation is the single most important “parenting skill”
Did you know that the state of our autonomic nervous system is “self-reinforcing”. 🟢 This means that, if our nervous system is sensing safety, and our "social engagement" system is dominant, then we will continue to perceive more safety cues, keeping us in a “Safe & Social” state. 🔴 But, if our nervous system is … Continue reading Why it’s easy for our nervous system to get “stuck” in an unsafe state
This morning I noticed myself starting to get frustrated. I felt the rising tension in my chest, felt my breath become a bit faster and strained. I consider this an early warning sign! If I don’t take head at this point, things can go pear-shaped. Can you relate? At the time, I was in the … Continue reading Frustration is an early warning sign … take heed!
As parents, there are lots of situations that might trigger us into “Fight or Flight”, ranging from feeling powerless to get our child’s cooperation, to feeling shocked when our child does something that hurts us physically. But we know that interacting with our kids in that state is not going to be helpful. It will … Continue reading How can we shift from “Fight or Flight” back to a peaceful and loving state?
I had a few people contact me about my last post on co-regulation, so I'm responding to some of their questions in this post. In case you didn't see that post, I talked about co-regulation, and how it is a child’s repeated experiences with an adult who feels safe and has the "Social Engagement" branch … Continue reading More on co-regulation
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