Are you committed to a style of parenting that emphasises kindness, empathy, compassion, and connection, but find yourself getting snappy with your kids or flying off the handle, or sometimes just wanting to run away? And then feeling wracked with sadness and guilt because that’s not the way you want to parent? Or maybe find … Continue reading Would you like to rewire for more joy and connection in your parenting?
I first came across Non-Violent Communication (NVC) in Marshall Rosenberg’s book that my then partner had picked up at the book shop. We were needing some support with our communication, and this one jumped out at him for some reason. Needless to say, it was too late for us. I kept the book when we … Continue reading It’s not (just) what we say, it’s how we say it (which is all about the nervous system)
For anyone who'd like to understand a bit more about their autonomic nervous system and stress responses, I created this little graphic. Our nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for signs of safety and danger, with the aim of setting responses in motion to keep us safe (alive!). 🥰 When we are sensing safety, we … Continue reading A graphic to illustrate autonomic nervous system functioning
I wonder if your child sucks their thumb, bites their nails, picks their skin or does some other repetitive behaviour? These are behaviours that kids (and adults) sometimes (unconsciously) use to manage the level of sympathetic activation or stress in their bodies when it gets too much. You might notice that at the … Continue reading How can we help when kids suck their thumb or have other self-focused repetitive behaviours?
Has your child ever had a puzzling behaviour that just won’t go away? A behaviour that keeps sticking around, no matter what strategies you try? One they keep repeating over and over, making you increasingly uncomfortable or perplexed? I call these “sticky” behaviours. Sometimes they can be an indication that something inside of US needs … Continue reading Sometimes our kids’ “sticky” behaviours reflect something within us that needs to shift
As parents, there are lots of situations that might trigger us into “Fight or Flight”, ranging from feeling powerless to get our child’s cooperation, to feeling shocked when our child does something that hurts us physically. But we know that interacting with our kids in that state is not going to be helpful. It will … Continue reading How can we shift from “Fight or Flight” back to a peaceful and loving state?
Do you notice that you have negative judgements about your child pop up in challenging parenting situations, such as when you are trying to engage their cooperation and they aren’t having a bar of it? Or when they are doing something that bothers you and they refuse to stop? They might be judgements about the … Continue reading A way to more understanding, empathy and compassion for our child
I wrote something recently about how to respond playfully if our kids tell us to “shut up”. You can read that one here: Responding playfully to being told to “Shut up!”: The ventriloquist game! And I had someone ask me if I had any suggestions for when kids’ use of harsh words goes beyond this, into … Continue reading What to do when kids’ swearing becomes an issue
Have you ever noticed how those situations in our lives that have the most "charge" for us, particularly in our relationships with our partners, children or other family members, are the most challenging ones to change? I'd like to share with you an example from my life. I used to have a lot of charge … Continue reading Lessening “charge” makes space for transformation!