As I sit and listen to my husband expressing his fear and anger over the way the coronavirus is being handled, I keep "resourcing" myself. I'm stroking my gorgeous cat, who is sitting on my lap purring, and I'm tuning into the enjoyable sensations of his fur on my skin. This helps to keep me … Continue reading Resourcing ourselves as we listen to others
Listening to Feelings
“Boredom” and how to give kids the fuel they need to make their own fun
These days, a lot of children’s lives, both in school and in outside of school activities, is very structured. Periods of unstructured time are really important for kids, giving them the freedom to do what they want. But sometimes, it is not that easy. Sometimes, “boredom” takes hold. 👉 When left to their own devices, kids … Continue reading “Boredom” and how to give kids the fuel they need to make their own fun
Making space for resistance in order to meet everyone’s needs
Do you sometimes find it hard in your family to fulfil everyone’s desires? To negotiate a way for each family member to get what they want? Perhaps you'd really like to do something together as a family, but another family member has some resistance to doing the thing you'd like to do, and doesn’t feel … Continue reading Making space for resistance in order to meet everyone’s needs
Responding playfully to kids’ aggressive urges with faux fighting
Can you sometimes see your child's aggression coming, but just don’t really know how to respond to stop it? Deep breathing might help to calm a child, but it can be pretty hard to encourage them to do it once a fight-or-flight response has been triggered! And resorting to yelling, threatening "consequences", or “time out” … Continue reading Responding playfully to kids’ aggressive urges with faux fighting
Kids’ aggression, responding playfully, and the challenge for parents
Putting together my own observations and experiences, and what I know about the nervous system, I’d like to outline my understanding of what is going on when children lash out, how responding playfully can help, and why it can be so challenging for parents. WHY DO KIDS LASH OUT? When kids are lashing out, their nervous … Continue reading Kids’ aggression, responding playfully, and the challenge for parents
“I’m fat”, “I’m dumb” : Responding to kids’ negative self-talk
I recently saw a post from a mum sharing about how her young daughter had started to express discomfort with her weight, and to call herself fat. And then another post by a mum about how her son was having trouble learning, and had called himself dumb. In both of these situations, I really connected … Continue reading “I’m fat”, “I’m dumb” : Responding to kids’ negative self-talk
Sometimes playfulness isn’t enough! Deeper feelings need to be heard too.
I was feeling a bit off all day yesterday and I just couldn't quite get to the bottom of it. A few other people seemed to be a bit off kilter too, and there was some talk that maybe it was something in the stars. By the time hubby came home, I was just plain … Continue reading Sometimes playfulness isn’t enough! Deeper feelings need to be heard too.
Lessening “charge” makes space for transformation!
Have you ever noticed how those situations in our lives that have the most "charge" for us, particularly in our relationships with our partners, children or other family members, are the most challenging ones to change? I'd like to share with you an example from my life. I used to have a lot of charge … Continue reading Lessening “charge” makes space for transformation!
Listening to an adult’s tears helps them to release stress and connect
I am feeling so grateful to my husband for listening to me yesterday morning as I talked and had a big cry. I had been waking in the middle of the night with some feelings the last few nights, and struggling to distract myself from them enough to fall back to sleep. Then yesterday I … Continue reading Listening to an adult’s tears helps them to release stress and connect