Sometimes, when my son’s behaviour is going off track, I find it helpful to remind myself that he isn’t intentionally giving me a hard time - he’s having a hard time himself. I particularly need this reminder when I’m feeling low on resources (e.g. I’m tired, sick, stressed, or just needing a break), and when … Continue reading My child isn’t giving me a hard time. My child is having a hard time.
Has your child ever said, “I’m not listening to you!”? Maybe complete with hands over their ears, humming or singing to themselves, and turning away from you? It can be quite challenging for us parents to hear! Our feelings might range from mildly frustrated to completely infuriated. It can trigger a sense of powerlessness in … Continue reading Playfulness to repair when your child says, “I’m not listening to you!”
We’ve asked our child TO DO something (e.g. tidy up), or NOT TO DO something (e.g. not throw food on the floor), and they seemingly ignore us or wilfully defy us. Why? As I mentioned in my last post, we might have judgements come up in these situations, that we feel "explain" our child's behaviour … Continue reading What is the real reason behind kids’ lack of cooperation – and how to support them to cooperate more!
Do you notice that you have negative judgements about your child pop up in challenging parenting situations, such as when you are trying to engage their cooperation and they aren’t having a bar of it? Or when they are doing something that bothers you and they refuse to stop? They might be judgements about the … Continue reading A way to more understanding, empathy and compassion for our child
All behaviour is communication, even if we’re not always sure what it’s communicating! Despite my years of connection-based parenting, I still sometimes forget this. And it came up twice for us last night! We were planning to watch a movie after dinner. Specifically, we were planning to watch the second half of a movie that … Continue reading Behaviour is communication: Understanding resistance and insistence
I recently saw a post from a mum sharing about how her young daughter had started to express discomfort with her weight, and to call herself fat. And then another post by a mum about how her son was having trouble learning, and had called himself dumb. In both of these situations, I really connected … Continue reading “I’m fat”, “I’m dumb” : Responding to kids’ negative self-talk
One afternoon, my husband, Alex, and I were driving to pick up my 5 year old son from his grandmother’s house. Earlier, we’d been practising using Non-Violent Communication (a process of compassionate communication developed by psychologist, Marshall Rosenberg) to have a challenging conversation (about parenting!). As we drove, I was sharing with Alex how being truly … Continue reading The transformational power of being heard