Dr William Sears, the American paediatrician who coined the term "attachment parenting", recognises the healing properties of tears and the importance of offering our children a supportive presence when they cry ... “Ever have an occasion when your baby or child is crying and nothing works to stop her? Take heart! It’s not your fault she … Continue reading Dr William Sears on crying
Some reflections on listening to crying
I remember when I first started listening to my son as a baby (after all his immediate needs had been met), I worried that he might never stop crying! He just seemed to cry and cry some days, with no end in sight. At first, I would only listen for a short time, maybe 5 … Continue reading Some reflections on listening to crying
A few thoughts on empathic limits
When setting empathic limits, it can be easy for us to feel uncomfortable and end up judging or shaming our child for what they are wanting. If we are feeling grounded and confident, we can offer loving acceptance of our child’s desires, while gently saying no (or not now). “I hear you’d really like some lollies. … Continue reading A few thoughts on empathic limits
6 steps to a fun and connected family holiday!
We are just back from a week’s holidays to the snowfields and I thought I’d share with you some reflections and ideas that might make your next trip smoother and more enjoyable. Some of the things below I managed to do, and they really helped! And other things I didn’t do, but will be reminding myself … Continue reading 6 steps to a fun and connected family holiday!
Playful exaggeration – when you are tired, fed up or just plain desperate!
This game is probably going to sound ridiculous, but it arose out of desperation. One afternoon, my son was not listening or cooperating, and I was feeling tired and fed up. I was trying to get something to happen (I can’t remember what), and I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I knew that the connection … Continue reading Playful exaggeration – when you are tired, fed up or just plain desperate!
When wanting to fight is code for “I need connection!”
My son has been pretty keen on “fighting” with my husband, Alex, lately. This could be any one or combination of non-contact karate-style fighting, wrestling or pillow fighting, throwing or bashing. One of the first things you’ll hear come out of my son’s mouth when my husband comes home from work is, “Fight with me! … Continue reading When wanting to fight is code for “I need connection!”
How reflecting on power helped with screen time struggles
After my 5 year old son discovered Minecraft eight months ago, screen time became very challenging. At one stage, we were having daily battles over screen time ending, with me setting a Loving Limit (something like, "I understand you really want to keep playing/watching, and it's time to finish now"), and him responding with hitting … Continue reading How reflecting on power helped with screen time struggles
The transformational power of being heard
One afternoon, my husband, Alex, and I were driving to pick up my 5 year old son from his grandmother’s house. Earlier, we’d been practising using Non-Violent Communication (a process of compassionate communication developed by psychologist, Marshall Rosenberg) to have a challenging conversation (about parenting!). As we drove, I was sharing with Alex how being truly … Continue reading The transformational power of being heard
Using play to respond to my son’s aggression
When my son was 5, we started to experience some hitting and kicking from him when he had big feelings. Pure empathic limits, where I offer a combination of empathy (e.g “I see you’re not happy with this”), a clear verbal limit (e.g. “I can’t let you hit/kick me”) and a physical limit to stop … Continue reading Using play to respond to my son’s aggression
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